Is it just me, or does networking seem inherently fake, self-serving, and even manipulative? I’d like to share my thoughts, delving into why it’s uncomfortable and how it can be reimagined in a more authentic light.
Most of us yearn for meaningful connections that arise naturally — through shared hobbies, similar situations, or sheer happenstance. The idea of approaching someone with the sole intention of leveraging a relationship for personal gain seems disingenuous and opportunistic. The term “networking” itself often conjures images of forced interactions and superficial exchanges, where the primary goal is to secure a job or a better position.
The discomfort with networking also lies in its duplicity. The traditional approach to networking involves seeking out individuals, fostering a casual friendship, and later leveraging that relationship for personal gain. This utilitarian view of people as tools rather than as individuals with their own intrinsic value is unsettling, at least for me. It seems inherently wrong to cultivate relationships with the ulterior motive of asking for favors down the line.
It’s not uncommon for people to start conversations purely based on what you do for work. If your occupation isn’t deemed useful, the interaction might abruptly end. This transactional nature of networking leaves amazing people feeling undervalued and dismissed, amplifying anxiety and discomfort. The pressure to initiate and maintain these connections can be overwhelming and often futile.
Networking events are particularly challenging. They can be stressful, exhausting, and often unproductive. The structured nature of these events sometimes seems like artificial constructs that do not foster genuine relationships.
I’m not even sure that more events mean forging a better career. This is a conversation I’d love to have and I believe it’s another topic on its own. Don’t get me wrong though, these events are important. At the very least, you’ll end up with a fine collection of hoodies, notebooks, stickers, and cloth bags.
However, not all views on networking are negative. Networking doesn’t have to be manipulative or about making friends. Professional contacts can exist with a mutual understanding of the relationship’s nature, benefiting all parties involved. For instance, in trades, individuals from various disciplines might refer each other for jobs, helping to build a network of competent and professional contacts.
Ultimately, true connections are organic and develop naturally over time. A real network comprises people who have worked together and can vouch for each other’s skills and character — relationships that are built on mutual respect and shared experiences, not on forced interactions.
For those with social anxiety, the concept of networking and the act of self-promotion on platforms like LinkedIn can be incredibly daunting. Don’t even get me started on how everyone’s trying to sell themselves. It feels like I’m drowning in spam.
I hate to say it, but networking is a crucial component in forging your career. Slow down, no pressure, be genuine and purposeful, and it should be fine.
While networking is a reality of the professional world, it doesn’t have to be manipulative or solely self-serving. By focusing on building genuine relationships and understanding the value of mutual benefit, networking can be reimagined in a way that feels more authentic and less transactional.